My Not So Perfect But Fabulous Life

using my big words to inspire… & hopefully make a difference

Authentic January 27, 2010

Filed under: Being Positive,Friends,husbands,Uncategorized — MDunbar @ 7:16 pm

The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well. Joe Ancis

Like it or not, I have pretty much been who I am all of my life. I am the cheesy, blue skies, silver lining kind of girl. I love giving back and helping others achieve something of importance and I truly love people. These things come easily to me but often my feelings get hurt because I get too emotionally vested or someone is just mean. I don’t understand why there are women out there who thrive on talking down or making others feel bad. I guess that is why growing up, I always had more guy friends. My husband is my best friend. He knows me so well and accepts me for the crazy person I am.

I am also incredibly blessed to have some really close girlfriends that I can’t even tell you how important they are to me. The commonality that we have is we are all strong-willed, honest folks. None of us pretend to be anything we are not, for better or for worse. It is so freeing to live this way. We are authentic, and can be completely crazy at times, but no matter what, we are honest and supportive of one another. I owe so much to these special women. I don’t know where I would be without them.

This part of the book is about living intentionally. Miller says there are three things to help us get back to who we really are. Our authentic selves.

  1. Reveal: a part of us to others. Let others know that we aren’t perfect.
  2. Respond: Listen with our hearts and respond with actions.
  3. Relax: Get comfortable. Let down the barriers that prevent us from being real.

I can tell you that even though some are put off by the fact that I have no pretenses and am totally honest about who I am, I would rather live with who I am and know that person, than lose myself in a persona that wasn’t real. One of my favorite characters is Elle Woods from Legally Blond. She is very “Malibu Barbie” but she knows who she is, she is genuinely nice to everyone, and she is truly authentic. The confidence in who she is makes her so likable and her attitude in infectious. Even those who ridicule her come to love her for her supportive, friendly ways.

“Believing in yourself never goes out of style.” Elle Woods

Life is too short and I want to be present in ever aspect. C.S. Lewis said it best, “We are what we believe we are.”

Who are you?


Positively Perfect in Every Possible Way January 3, 2010

Filed under: Faith,husbands,Joy,Kids,On being a mom — MDunbar @ 7:31 pm

The Positively Perfect: Mary Poppins


Mu husband often pokes fun at the various projects I take on and the different non-profit organizations I help. From donating calligraphy, painting or raising funds, I am always busy with side projects. I am also a bit obsessive about how things look and want them to be the best that I can make them. After all, my name it attached to it and you never know who might see it and want to mass produce it and voila! My first million will be made. I will be the first to say though that I am far from perfect. If you know me at all then you know how crazy I can be trying to accomplish all that I want to get done. I have raised my voice at my children. I have cursed when steeping on a Polly Pocket in the middle of the night. I have shot my husband (OK not really but I know I have thought about it before). I am not proud of my silly behavior but I also know that I can always try to make a better choice next time and hopefully will evolve into a decent mother that doesn’t leave her children scarred and in years of therapy. 

Today I have been reading about finding joy in the fact that, “God has his own agenda and it is greater than my own.” I totally get that and I always give it over to God so that he may deal with it but sometimes I think he is much slower than me and I can fix it if I just…take…it…back. That’s when I pull so hard that it hits me in the face (and then comes the cursing again, urg!).  I am trying to learn to put my faith in God’s grace and mercy. That I need to find my treasure in Him and not place it in things like, well, things! My treasure can’t be my home or, deep breath here, my family. What?!? But I AM mom! I am WIFE! I have been defined by how many cookies I bake, rooms I decorate and songs I sing before bed. This is a totally different ballgame. 

If I place my trust and focus in Him, and not stay focused on ME, then I can be joyful regardless of how angry LD is because some game went sour or how some boy called KD a name and now she is having a complete meltdown or even if Hubs gets fired and we don’t know what we are going to do. If my treasure is with Him, then I can maintain a peace that not only allows me to be more focused on being supportive for my family in their times of need but I will also maintain a bit of sanity. This sounds win/win for everybody. I can focus on being the parent that I truly want to be and not get wrapped up in the worldly drama that in all reality, does not or even will not even effect me. It’s not about me! 

This is great knowledge and I hope I can stay focused on giving it to Him and making Him my treasure. I don’t have to be perfect because it really doesn’t matter and after all no one is but Him! Sure, I can still do all of the things that I love (and Hubs can call me Marcia Stewart which I secretly think is cute) but they will not come before what my focus is, “letting go of something by recognizing that it wasn’t mine all alone.” It all belongs to Him. By letting go I am gaining patience. By letting go I am gaining strength. By letting go I have a tighter grip on what is truly important. 

So what are your treasures?