My Not So Perfect But Fabulous Life

using my big words to inspire… & hopefully make a difference

Guidance January 28, 2010

Filed under: Friends,Hope,letting go,parenthood,Uncategorized — MDunbar @ 4:05 pm

A helping hand to guide us makes all the difference!


I never knew how difficult life would be at times. My parents have been together for almost 50 years. I watched them interact, dad the provider, mom the disciplinarian. They had their arguments (they were the parents that silently argued. If the house was quiet,  there was trouble.) but for the most part, everything seemed easy. My Dad made a great living and none of us wanted for anything.  

I had no idea that they were shielding us from the stress and at times frustration that is parenting!  I have worked very hard to let go of worrying but it still creeps up on me. I have said it before, my girlfriends keep me grounded and somewhat sane. Something that Sean and I didn’ t have was someone to help guide us. Someone who had been there before to give us advice. By the time I was married my parents had issues with health problems and Sean’s mother passed away a few months before we met. None of our parents explained budgets, parenting during difficult times or how to get through the tough places on our own marriage.  

We have since made friends that are older and wiser than we are. Experience is the best teacher and if someone has been where you are, let them tell you what they did, whether they failed or not, so that you can learn from that. There have been many instances in my life where the person taught me exactly what not to do but I remembered what they went through, or the pain they caused those around them, and I knew that I didn’t want to cause that kind of pain. We need people in our lives to help guide us. Whether it is a pastor at your church, a teacher at your school or a friend that has been around the block, so to speak. It is important to know that no matter what, we aren’t alone. We aren’t the first to experience life and we won’t be the last. It is just comforting to know that no matter what life gives us, we can depend on those around us to help us through the tough times.  

Who in your life helps to guide you? Who is your go-to person that is always there for you?  

SOmething I always thought was a beautiful concept was this: The word Guidance means we are guided by something. I feel that God guides me and in that we are in a realtionship together.  

Guidance = God U and I DANCE!


Guidance means God U and I DANCE!


And Another Thing… January 14, 2010

Filed under: Being Positive,Crazy,letting go — MDunbar @ 10:07 pm

JB Let's me know how he REALLY feels!

I used to be really good at comebacks. I guess you could say I was that girl who had “And another thing” to say. I had an ex-boyfriend tell me that I had a comeback for every occasion. I am not sure if I should be proud or not but I can tell you that I have lost my gift. Now I am that girl who, two hours after I have had time to process what I have heard, I have a “eureka” moment. It takes me that time to go through the plethora of things in my head for the exact words that I would say. Much like Meg Ryan in “You’ve Got Mail”, I can never think of the biting words I need to set my frenemy on a tilt. On the rare occasion I do, I always regret it.

Much like my lack of spontaneity of ruthless words, I also run through different dramatic outcomes to situations that haven’t even really happened. You know when you only hear a little bit about something and it spirals out of control in your head until you are ready to march in that office and quit! OK, maybe it’s just me…sorry. Miller put my mind at ease that somehow there is someone else out there even a little bit as crazy as I can be.

The plot outlines, the biting comebacks and the frustration and anger that comes with thinking that way, are not healthy. Sure we have to have creative outlets but I much prefer the way in which Miller urges us to react. Instead of getting wrapped up in our own private dialog with the witty person that lives inside our heads, we should focus on the positive things that surround us. That is something that will take quite a bit of work for me. You would not believe the drama that surrounds my life. Working at a church, having the family I have and having a  passion for drama, I mean theatre, I can really create some stress for myself. I am truly going to try to focus my energy on redirection. I will try this week to not embellish or react to the drama that heads my way. I will try my best to let my “enthusiasm, loveliness and spunk” shine through. I certainly do not want to impact those I love with negative vibes from someone else.

Me kicking tomorrow's booty (in a positive way!)

                                    And another thing…Have a great Friday!